Hello everyone.
I am not too sure what this post is going to be about. I have been thinking about the next theme for a new post, but nothing quite fathoms. Work has been intense. Getting up at 6 and returning at 1pm is quite tiresome.
The work that I do works with care for the destitute and dying. kailghat patients from the streets and cares for them until they are able to return to the streets, often they have infections, or wounds that can be take care of by the one certified nurse at Kalighat. She is a beautiful Italian woman I tend to call mama. She has been a nurse for 40 years and has spent the past 10 years in Calcutta, sensational.
Some patients who are not able to make it back into the streets receive love for the last days or hours of which they are on the earth. That is where the volunteers come in. We massage, bath, feed any patient who needs help. Often we assist the nurse in medical procedures, way cool!
I have been debating weather or not to share this live, but I asked the permission of his soul to share, so I hope it is okay. Last night a man passed away. He was put in the small morgue which Kalighat has. His final stop is the crematorium. I carried him there. Along with another Indian worker, we took him there. It was more than surreal. I am still afraid of sharing the details online (We can chat about the experience via email or when I return if you would like). The whole trip over I had a small memorial for the gentleman, as I sat in the back of the ambulance with him. I named him Carl and thought of what his life must have been like. As we passed through the streets of Calcutta I looked at the different age groups which he was once a part of. I imagined him playing cricket, walking alongside friends, laughing with individuals, and loving others. I said what prayers I knew and sang my new favorite song, which we learned at the mother house (it is a song used for volunteers who are having their last day of service, it's a playful way to say thank you.) We love we love we love you/ we love we love we love you/ we love we love we love you/ from our heart... I added my own verbs in the song which I found most appropriate.
The assistant and I carried Carl to the area of "departure," I guess the furnace? The assistant told me to wait with Carl. He left the building and hopped back into the ambulance and drove off. The building emptied out, I was alone in a crematorium with Carl. It was so surreal. I had many thoughts, I had a hard time making sense of the whole situation, but to be honest I don't even know what that means right now. Basically a man died and he had to be cremated, what more is it than that? I guess...
I sat in the Crematorium. I sat by the furnace. There were two. They were hot. There was a lobby, sort of, it had many marble-esque seats. The place was not inviting, hence why there were not people hanging out in the lobby. I don't know why anyone would hang out in the lobby of a crematorium in the first place, so maybe that was a stupid statement, the previous. There were 6 huge fans propelling war air around the room. Carl and I sat, I sang, he listened. I listened for any further wishes he wanted me to share with the world. Selfishly I couldn't get past my own thoughts, I was not capable of listening to hearts. I was scared.
The assistant came back carrying a wooden stretcher. We transfered Carl to the wooden stretcher. We placed the stretcher on a metal plank that was attached to a conveyer belt which moved things into the furnace. I pushed my friend into a beautiful new life of many oranges, yellows, and reds. He was moving on. I smiled and said my good bye. I know something more now. Only a little though.
Blessings on all of you. I am having a good time in the city. I visited the only place in Calcutta where one would see Indian couples affectionately touching. It was actually more than affectionately, it was somewhat intense. The couples groped under umbrellas. We walked, giggled, and took pictures. Last night I went to a bollywood movie with some of the Volunteers I work with. It was a blast! We attempted to go to a bar before the movie, but were kicked out of the first one, men only? The second one was super dimly lit and one could only see about an arms length infront of them, it was so smoky. I got an orange juice.
The movie made no sense but it was in a great theater. Tonight I am heading to a traditional Indian dinner at the house of one of the volunteers who is staying with an Indian family.
I am finding my place here. :)
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Saturday, September 27th 2008: A journal entry.
A journal entry:
We began the morning early. But my heart was my awakening energy. It spoke with the "Soul of the World" to wake me, after my alarm went off, of course, and drove my energy to move me out of bed. I did morning things and splashed away at last night's thalis, Indian cuisine, with my small plastic green bucket. I can already sense my quads getting stronger!
Just the walk to the Mother House was greatly anticipated after viewing all the movement of life on the street, the previous day for the first time.
It appeared as if the entire city fell asleep where they were, as their eyes took the last visuals of the day and put their owning soul to sleep; or maybe I'm giving this thought too much thought. Maybe it is just a reality, people are homeless, they have no bed, ya that sound better. But there are just so many, to what extent do these people perpetuate this poverty? In Guatemala, another extremely impoverished nation, there are very few beggars or "street sleepers." Most of the "S.S.'s" are past out from the previous night's liquid transcendence, a different problem. The rest of the poor still find a way to sell something to give life, to their dignity. So I ask you this, oh great layered country of India, where is your mercy?
Men littered the sidewalks with their sleeping bodies. No room for the excess waste or feces which find their final resting place in the "garbage graveyard," the streets, of beautiful Kolkata.
Lonely Planet describes this city as a "Festival of Life," and that is what it is. But who knew that festivals could be so impartial to mercy or pollution?
I saw a man, who like me, was doing his morning defecation in the sidewalk bathroom "stall," this made my stomach turn. I saw a rat the size of a flattened American football being eaten from the inside out by a very diligent yet struggling raven or crow, I never really understood the difference. This made my eyes wince, just as they do when I cut onions. Taxis began their morning sponge like movement. "De-sizing" to fit between people, other taxis, and rickshaws, honking as the approached me which they as an appropriate opportunity. I push off taxis, using my ever so useful hands, so as not to get hit, but in doing so get grimmy, reminding me of the city so very saturated in smog. A few more steps and I feel some ooze between my toes, yes, we all know what it is. I don't say anything just reminding myself "it" can all be cleaned. I drag my foot along trying to "rinse" my foot off, but what am I really rinsing with? The last image I see before any type of consolation: A dog who had obviously been mauled at the neck. She evidently was missing a vital portion of his neck, with which would allow her to only live a few more hours. Haunched over, hanging head, she felt the flys beginning to eat through to the other side. Assisting in maybe the shortening of those few miserable hours. Jeez Calcutta, where is your mercy? Definetly a festival of life, in all senses of the word "life."
The eyes of my soul wince just as they do when I cut onions. I was peeling my first small but of India, which to me, is much like an onion, layered, deceiving; one is never sure where the middle or end is. I winced just as I do when I cut through the streets of Kolkata.
But what appealed and allowed my soul consolation and hope was the sight of the Mother House, which we walked so adamantly to for 6 am mass.
The door was locked, I guess they really did mean 6 am sharp.
As I turned to look at Traci the Heavens opened up and the waves from above began to flood down. It rains fervently in Calcutta. Seattle looks much like a sissy amateur compared to the festival of life. Well at least I could get the ooze fully out from in between my toes, maybe not from under my toe nails, but at least from between my little toes.
Traci and I hard forgot our ponchos. We agreed on returning to the only place there is to sit in the city, other than the sidewalk or "graveyard." St. James Catholic church. The reason we were returning and knew of its existence is because, on two other accounts, yesterday, we found shelter from Kolkata's ferocity, there.
We ran across the "death-way" and made dry in an empty church, fit for a congregation upwards of 300 people. I say and could think nothing of any substance, but was deffinelty not meditating.
7:00 am finally came and the chai and bananas were served to all the volunteer at the Mother House. The energy was youthfully peaceful with participants from just about every country I will some day visit. Conversation was limited by language barriers, but my Spanish+French+Smiles aided much. The biggest assistant, to I think everyone, was the honesty and compassion which everyone's souls spoke from. This was easily inspired by eachothers' neighbors eyes, beautiful.
The dispersal time came and I walked anxiously with two Koreans, a Fin (?), and a Japanese man, to the bus stop which would take us to our destination: Khalighat, the original home for the destitute and dying.
"Khalighat" was our stop. As I walked in, I guess it is what I expecting. Destitute and dying, all souls of the world, continuing to exist in beds which contained their life for the moment. I was there soul wide open hands at the ready, ready to give and be received in any way.
But...I found myself washing dishes and clothes. Fine, because I finally had a purpose. I met wonderful people from more countries I would like to visit. Two older Spanish men, who, both name Jose (Hello Omen) reminded me that smiling is important and that showing all your pearly whites when doing so, helps others remember. Laughing and singing was also greatly encouraged.
As my hand moved to more washing, I met another individual who was diverse. A dual citizen of the US and Senegal, Senegal only because he is on the Senegalese national open water swimming team (he was raised in Senegal) but went to University in the US. He was a certified EMT who also believed in smiling and compassion. He began a non-profit aiding with child development of street children in Cairo, Egypt, which is where he now lives. He has traveled all around the world and is only 24. He reminds me that ambition is great.
The day continue with short conversation and satisfying tasks. On in particular which gave me much consolation. Helping a man drink water. His life is deffinelty limited, and I wish him the best in what the "Soul of the World" has to provide for him. Paulo Coelho once wrote: "We hae to try to get ride of the notion of time. And when you have an intense contact of love with nature or another human being, like a spark, then you understand that there is no time and that everything is eternal." I felt this today. I saw two men being carried out on stretchers, this pinched my soul, but a deep breathe and began with the water. This is what is written for all the individuals, I guess.
As I held this man's head and looked into his eyes, I attempted to energize his soul with mine, I attempted to give his soul life with what extra I had in mine. What I saw was fear. He simply was nervous, but I told myself to not look too long, I realized I was scared too. I was abruptly interrupted by a bit more aggressive Indian volunteer who cleaned his face and hands and said, "Move brother, I clean now." I did as I was told, said my "Namaste" and a non-verbal prayer of good grace. I would like to see him tomorrow.
The day ended there and I was back on the festivals streets of life. I took the metro home, not exactly sure what I was doing, but did. I swam through people and realized how valuable deoderant is in small confined areas like metro trains. Maybe I will reconsider applying deoderant in the morning.
I exited close to home, some how didn't get lost, and am now on the roof of my hotel enjoying the rain and smog and honks and smoke (from my european neighbor) and valuable sights. I have been here for too long, maybe 4 hours? I will now move my feet and my soul in search of the next adventure the festive onion has to offer.
-=Namaste=-
We began the morning early. But my heart was my awakening energy. It spoke with the "Soul of the World" to wake me, after my alarm went off, of course, and drove my energy to move me out of bed. I did morning things and splashed away at last night's thalis, Indian cuisine, with my small plastic green bucket. I can already sense my quads getting stronger!
Just the walk to the Mother House was greatly anticipated after viewing all the movement of life on the street, the previous day for the first time.
It appeared as if the entire city fell asleep where they were, as their eyes took the last visuals of the day and put their owning soul to sleep; or maybe I'm giving this thought too much thought. Maybe it is just a reality, people are homeless, they have no bed, ya that sound better. But there are just so many, to what extent do these people perpetuate this poverty? In Guatemala, another extremely impoverished nation, there are very few beggars or "street sleepers." Most of the "S.S.'s" are past out from the previous night's liquid transcendence, a different problem. The rest of the poor still find a way to sell something to give life, to their dignity. So I ask you this, oh great layered country of India, where is your mercy?
Men littered the sidewalks with their sleeping bodies. No room for the excess waste or feces which find their final resting place in the "garbage graveyard," the streets, of beautiful Kolkata.
Lonely Planet describes this city as a "Festival of Life," and that is what it is. But who knew that festivals could be so impartial to mercy or pollution?
I saw a man, who like me, was doing his morning defecation in the sidewalk bathroom "stall," this made my stomach turn. I saw a rat the size of a flattened American football being eaten from the inside out by a very diligent yet struggling raven or crow, I never really understood the difference. This made my eyes wince, just as they do when I cut onions. Taxis began their morning sponge like movement. "De-sizing" to fit between people, other taxis, and rickshaws, honking as the approached me which they as an appropriate opportunity. I push off taxis, using my ever so useful hands, so as not to get hit, but in doing so get grimmy, reminding me of the city so very saturated in smog. A few more steps and I feel some ooze between my toes, yes, we all know what it is. I don't say anything just reminding myself "it" can all be cleaned. I drag my foot along trying to "rinse" my foot off, but what am I really rinsing with? The last image I see before any type of consolation: A dog who had obviously been mauled at the neck. She evidently was missing a vital portion of his neck, with which would allow her to only live a few more hours. Haunched over, hanging head, she felt the flys beginning to eat through to the other side. Assisting in maybe the shortening of those few miserable hours. Jeez Calcutta, where is your mercy? Definetly a festival of life, in all senses of the word "life."
The eyes of my soul wince just as they do when I cut onions. I was peeling my first small but of India, which to me, is much like an onion, layered, deceiving; one is never sure where the middle or end is. I winced just as I do when I cut through the streets of Kolkata.
But what appealed and allowed my soul consolation and hope was the sight of the Mother House, which we walked so adamantly to for 6 am mass.
The door was locked, I guess they really did mean 6 am sharp.
As I turned to look at Traci the Heavens opened up and the waves from above began to flood down. It rains fervently in Calcutta. Seattle looks much like a sissy amateur compared to the festival of life. Well at least I could get the ooze fully out from in between my toes, maybe not from under my toe nails, but at least from between my little toes.
Traci and I hard forgot our ponchos. We agreed on returning to the only place there is to sit in the city, other than the sidewalk or "graveyard." St. James Catholic church. The reason we were returning and knew of its existence is because, on two other accounts, yesterday, we found shelter from Kolkata's ferocity, there.
We ran across the "death-way" and made dry in an empty church, fit for a congregation upwards of 300 people. I say and could think nothing of any substance, but was deffinelty not meditating.
7:00 am finally came and the chai and bananas were served to all the volunteer at the Mother House. The energy was youthfully peaceful with participants from just about every country I will some day visit. Conversation was limited by language barriers, but my Spanish+French+Smiles aided much. The biggest assistant, to I think everyone, was the honesty and compassion which everyone's souls spoke from. This was easily inspired by eachothers' neighbors eyes, beautiful.
The dispersal time came and I walked anxiously with two Koreans, a Fin (?), and a Japanese man, to the bus stop which would take us to our destination: Khalighat, the original home for the destitute and dying.
"Khalighat" was our stop. As I walked in, I guess it is what I expecting. Destitute and dying, all souls of the world, continuing to exist in beds which contained their life for the moment. I was there soul wide open hands at the ready, ready to give and be received in any way.
But...I found myself washing dishes and clothes. Fine, because I finally had a purpose. I met wonderful people from more countries I would like to visit. Two older Spanish men, who, both name Jose (Hello Omen) reminded me that smiling is important and that showing all your pearly whites when doing so, helps others remember. Laughing and singing was also greatly encouraged.
As my hand moved to more washing, I met another individual who was diverse. A dual citizen of the US and Senegal, Senegal only because he is on the Senegalese national open water swimming team (he was raised in Senegal) but went to University in the US. He was a certified EMT who also believed in smiling and compassion. He began a non-profit aiding with child development of street children in Cairo, Egypt, which is where he now lives. He has traveled all around the world and is only 24. He reminds me that ambition is great.
The day continue with short conversation and satisfying tasks. On in particular which gave me much consolation. Helping a man drink water. His life is deffinelty limited, and I wish him the best in what the "Soul of the World" has to provide for him. Paulo Coelho once wrote: "We hae to try to get ride of the notion of time. And when you have an intense contact of love with nature or another human being, like a spark, then you understand that there is no time and that everything is eternal." I felt this today. I saw two men being carried out on stretchers, this pinched my soul, but a deep breathe and began with the water. This is what is written for all the individuals, I guess.
As I held this man's head and looked into his eyes, I attempted to energize his soul with mine, I attempted to give his soul life with what extra I had in mine. What I saw was fear. He simply was nervous, but I told myself to not look too long, I realized I was scared too. I was abruptly interrupted by a bit more aggressive Indian volunteer who cleaned his face and hands and said, "Move brother, I clean now." I did as I was told, said my "Namaste" and a non-verbal prayer of good grace. I would like to see him tomorrow.
The day ended there and I was back on the festivals streets of life. I took the metro home, not exactly sure what I was doing, but did. I swam through people and realized how valuable deoderant is in small confined areas like metro trains. Maybe I will reconsider applying deoderant in the morning.
I exited close to home, some how didn't get lost, and am now on the roof of my hotel enjoying the rain and smog and honks and smoke (from my european neighbor) and valuable sights. I have been here for too long, maybe 4 hours? I will now move my feet and my soul in search of the next adventure the festive onion has to offer.
-=Namaste=-
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Vroom vroom, we survived out first taxi ride.
Picture a yellow 1950 Chevrolet Bel-air. Now take that scene, from whatever episode of Star Wars it was that Luke and Princess Leah were stuck in that confining room, and put the car in it. Squish it until it is half the size and you would have the taxi cab's in Calcutta. They are very childish and adorable for the eye to witness from far away, but as an eyewitness inside, I thought I was going to die, or at least pass out from the over load of carbon dioxide inside the vehicle. But I am writing to you, reader, from down an unlit alley way, in rainy humid Calcutta: I MADE IT.
Traci and I got a pre-paid taxi from the international airport in Calcutta to Sudder Street, the backpackers "mecca" in the city. We honestly had no idea what we were doing when we left the airport out into the street looking for an official to point us in the right direction. The only thing that was going through my mind was, "don't get scammed, don't get scammed!" I made my best attempt to follow what the other pre-paid-ers were doing as to give my ticket to the right person. But, as I would have guessed, we all got lost in the mass amounts of human bodies and thick rain. We somehow ended up in the compressed "bel-air." (Not to associate my nickname for the car with anything like the neighbor hood where Will Smith lived a posh life.) Our taxi cab was off to the races like really off to the races, the streets are a real race a race to stay alive. Someone said that drivers in this city honk a lot. I lost count of th 2-5 second honks after 63. That was about half way to our destination too.
The carbon dioxide really started to get to my head so I rolled down the window for some "fresh" air. What hit me next was a real surprise! A face full of very black diesel exhaust from the public bus, nice! :) The streets of Calcutta seem to have some invisible maze I can't see, which apparently, all the drivers can see.
At numerous intersections I smiled and grabbed my knees knowing were about to hit the fellow taxi next to us, but it was not it hit, it was just a love-tap, that's all...multiple love-taps.
Compared to the 120 kph driver's which plague Bangkok's city streets, our "Bel-air" barely started. I figured the reason for not jumping the gun at any green light was because our four speed taxi didn't have a first gear. It was et to start in second gear, which if it didn't get a love-tap from behind really had a hard time moving. Maybe that is the reason the cars are so compressed, they tap each other into overstuffed toy cars.
The taxi dodged innocent individuals in their helpless attempt to cross the street, the streets really will take no prisoners, only execute them. We stopped and started, bounced left than right, over bridges barely missing the hard working rickshaw drivers. Much was viewed on the ride from hell, but hardly comprehended. It all happened so fast.
Finally our Cab made it to Sudder Street. He said nothing, stopped the car and popped the trunk. I guess we had made it. Traci and I exited the taxi, sidewalk side, and grabbed our packs. Oh, forgot to mention, there were no safety belts, of course, why would one need them when the taxi's are so safe? What came next was really disconcerting. We had to cross THE street to really be on Sudder street. It looked impossible, but attaching ourselves to three little girls, leech style, we made it across the street. We had made it to the infamous Paragon Hotel in Calcutta INDIA!
Traci and I got a pre-paid taxi from the international airport in Calcutta to Sudder Street, the backpackers "mecca" in the city. We honestly had no idea what we were doing when we left the airport out into the street looking for an official to point us in the right direction. The only thing that was going through my mind was, "don't get scammed, don't get scammed!" I made my best attempt to follow what the other pre-paid-ers were doing as to give my ticket to the right person. But, as I would have guessed, we all got lost in the mass amounts of human bodies and thick rain. We somehow ended up in the compressed "bel-air." (Not to associate my nickname for the car with anything like the neighbor hood where Will Smith lived a posh life.) Our taxi cab was off to the races like really off to the races, the streets are a real race a race to stay alive. Someone said that drivers in this city honk a lot. I lost count of th 2-5 second honks after 63. That was about half way to our destination too.
The carbon dioxide really started to get to my head so I rolled down the window for some "fresh" air. What hit me next was a real surprise! A face full of very black diesel exhaust from the public bus, nice! :) The streets of Calcutta seem to have some invisible maze I can't see, which apparently, all the drivers can see.
At numerous intersections I smiled and grabbed my knees knowing were about to hit the fellow taxi next to us, but it was not it hit, it was just a love-tap, that's all...multiple love-taps.
Compared to the 120 kph driver's which plague Bangkok's city streets, our "Bel-air" barely started. I figured the reason for not jumping the gun at any green light was because our four speed taxi didn't have a first gear. It was et to start in second gear, which if it didn't get a love-tap from behind really had a hard time moving. Maybe that is the reason the cars are so compressed, they tap each other into overstuffed toy cars.
The taxi dodged innocent individuals in their helpless attempt to cross the street, the streets really will take no prisoners, only execute them. We stopped and started, bounced left than right, over bridges barely missing the hard working rickshaw drivers. Much was viewed on the ride from hell, but hardly comprehended. It all happened so fast.
Finally our Cab made it to Sudder Street. He said nothing, stopped the car and popped the trunk. I guess we had made it. Traci and I exited the taxi, sidewalk side, and grabbed our packs. Oh, forgot to mention, there were no safety belts, of course, why would one need them when the taxi's are so safe? What came next was really disconcerting. We had to cross THE street to really be on Sudder street. It looked impossible, but attaching ourselves to three little girls, leech style, we made it across the street. We had made it to the infamous Paragon Hotel in Calcutta INDIA!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Scams, Sex Industries, Alley ways, and Oh the Alchemist as well!
To all who may be concerned with my very late and over due second post. I am okay! My Thai is not that good, I am having trouble reading the login and password keyword bars, therefore not able to login and write new blogs. But with the help of Miss Katie, I have figured it out! So cheers to her!
My flight left on last Wednesday afternoon. The long 12 hour flight was easily passed with endless amounts of movies, free unlimited sake, and nervous excitment. I watched the new kid's movie "Kung-Fu Panda" which is great, I recommend everyone check it out when they have the chance, but one line which resonated with me and which I am trying to remember through all of my internal struggles as I adjust to all new, is: "The past is history, the future a mystery, and the present is a gift, that is why it is called the present." In all of the small struggles so far I have asked myself multiple questions, all steaming back to the ultimate, What am I doing here? I thought that I would be guided more by cosmic energies and endless beauty. But what I have been running into most is scams and people trying to hustle me.
Scams:
The first two and half days were spent with one of the two other SU students, Traci. We stayed at a very trendy posh hostel with free internet, cool american pop music, and even sliding doors! Traci and I tried numerous time venturing out into the streets of Bangkok. We spent time at Chinatown, the infamous Khao San Road, and night markets. They all had their excitment but still for two travelers who are 14 hours behind the regular time, is simply was too much.
The best way to get around Bangkok is the open aired tuk-tuks! Basically a three wheeled taxi. Traci and I figured that it would be cheapest and the most fun, so we found ourselves in a tuk-tuk as we left the hostel for the first time. Of course we hadn't considered the wise words of lonely planet's travel book before hitting the road, which turned out to be a humorous adventure. The tuk tuk drivers hustle you into the back of their motorized tricycles, before you even have a chance to get a price quote or say no, you are in the crazy streets of Bangkok. The first ride we took as innocent, the driver seemed to care about us, he asked us questions about where we were from etc, we felt welcomed, he even asked how long we had been in the country. Now, I usually am a pretty "guard-up" sorta person, but when someone is being nice to be I am such a sucker. "Oh only 1 day, this is our first day." Never ever ever ever tell a tuk tuk driver that short amount of time. Tell them 1 week a month maybe even a year if you don't want to fall into the commission scam.
The tuk tuk driver, I'm sure smiled on the inside and laughed, silly americans! He turned around to us and pointed at a small lamanated card he had wrote, "FREE GASSOLINE." Yes 2 "s's." He told us that if made a stop for him, and only "look no buy, only look" then we would get a discount on our ride. We were tired and he was nice so "yes" was our decision.
We got to a tailor shop. There were about 12 Indian salesmen ready to pounch on the newcomers. One in particular came up to us and pressed us for what we were buying. Being ingorant as I can be, I thought this "free gassoline deal" was special for us, therefore I thought we had to be legit and play along hardcore. So Traci and I did. We pretended to know what we were looking for, I even said I knew what good fabric looked like. I had a vague idea because after spending 6 months rug-shopping with mom back home I had a rough idea. "It depends on how many threads stick out the bottom." His reaction really showed me that I had no idea what the hell I was talking about. The salesman asked where we were from, "California USA," maybe is was my dark skin, he didn't believe me, "No really?" I didn't know if anyone would have heard of Guatemala, so I said, "Mexico," reluctantly (I am proud to be Guatemalan, don't worry reader, or dad!). He said. "oh, I have customer from Mexico," excitedly, he brought out a huge binder full of all his sales, he opened to a page which credited he had sold a Mexican business man 9 whole suits! I smiled and said, "Nice." Traci and I left laughing.
The tuk tuk driver waited for us happily. We got in and he turned to us and said, "Okay, one more stop and I give you free ride wherever you want!" Traci and I looked at eachother, "Whatever, ya, but you promise, free?" Offended he put a look of disgust on his face as to say you don't believe me while grabbing his bicep and said, "I good man." All men have goodness, but not all are honest, oh well, sure we took the free ride.
We stopped at a gem shop down an alley way which didn't even have it's lights on until we got in. As we walked around, the chinese salesman asked where we were from, "California USA." Of course the dark skin threw him off so this time I said, "Guatemala." "Oh I have friends in Guatemala, I give you good price, I give you Guatemalan discount!" I laughed and continued to walk around the store and just reminded myself that everyone needs to make a living. Traci and I left after a few minutes. Chinatown bound we were finally on the road, free!!!!
We spent the next few hours in markets and tuk-tuks again being part of the commission scam, it really isn't a scam, more like you just have to feel dirty for a few minutes, although you don't know why. You feel like someone is supposed to rob you, so grabbing your wallet and money belt you wait, but no one does. The tuk tuk driver gets free gas and we get a free ride, it's all good.
After some researching and travel agency-ing, we found us some tickets to Calcutta! We probably paid a little too much but it was such a relief to have bought our tickets. Tomorrow, thursday for us at 1230 we will be flying to Calcutta India where the second part of the adventure really starts.
Sex Industries:
After 2 days Traci and I decided had too much of the chaos and moved ourselves to a small beachfront town, Hua-Hin. It was simple and quite, just what we wanted. The beach's sands were white. the water was very blue, and the Singha very cold. This would be perfect for adjusting to. The only downside was the "White-man." Yes, white males everywhere. It was a very in-yo-face experience to see this industry up front. Nonetheless we indulged in the sandy beaches and attempted to avoid "the industry" once again, everyone has to make a living. We also were able to see our first Muay Thai Boxing match. SO intense, so intense, so intense. I just don't find it fair when a 10 year old 110 pound boy fights a 19 year old 140 pound man. But hey, it was entertaining.
Whenever Traci and I went to eat, we would seek the most authentic looking restaurants. Of course these places, being authentic, offered "spicy thai." This statement came with small and later a laugh as they watch the americans sweat in desperation from all the "spicy thai." After one of the meals, I was really feeling the "Spicy Thai" so I went to the Hyatt. Yes there was a Hyatt and it was very very very nice, which is why I choose it as my "rest" room. I happened to be going into the "rest"room at the same time another gentleman was entering. We went into our respective stalls made similar noises (I know gross but I'm being honest). This was a huge consolation; his stomach is as weak as mine! I finished and proceeded to wash my hands. This gentelman had already begun his hand washing and we made eye contact in the mirror. The only thing I could really do is smile, pat my belly, and ask "Spicy Thai?" He laughed and said, "Spicy Thai!" Thanks Hyatt and at the same time, I'm sorry.
Alleyways:
Traci and I bussed back into BK to find the final leg of "the tri-pod." A hostel was named as the meeting point, but upon arrival Katie had left us a note that she would be back later. Of course she would, being adventurous as she is, she was out and about. Traci and spent the following few hours walking up and down a main road in search of Miss Katie. She was no where to be found.
Empty handed Traci and I decided to head back to the hostel. We turned a corner into an alley way which led to our hostel. In this one and only vacant alley way, the only alley way in all of Bangkok that does not have anyone sleeping, selling or sitting we found Kaite! Arms wide open shocked looks on our faces we ran to embrace! It feels so real now.
Of The Alechemist as well!!!
Let's go back to last wednesday at SFO. Traci and I were killing time at a small convenience stand looking at all the magazines which are supposed to entertain us Americans. Nothing appealed to my interest so I turned around and there on top of small candy stand was a consolation! I knew it would be a consolation before the thought of having to spend 13.50 for it occured to me! THE ALCHEMIST BY PAULO COELHO! I had read it years past, but it made no sense really to me then. Why would anyone want to find their Personal Legend? Omen's don't really have to do with life, they are more just things to make one instantaneously happy, right? I read the book in a few hours, as I got to the end tried to read slower as I knew it was coming to an end. I didn't want it to end. The wisdom of Coelho's words resonated with me so much a felt as though I was Santiago. If you have not read the beautful novel, go get a copy on a amazon for $1.98 used. It is such a soul opener. It made me question a lot of motives I have for my trip, it put much of the trip into persepctive and makes me question the possibility of leading that type of "romanticized life." (Only romanticized beacuse our society to an extent condemns it).
So why am I on this trip?
The easiest thing to say would be: To broaden my horizons. Well that would also be bullshit. Not that it isn't true, but that is such a lame way of summarizing what I am about to say. I apologize if I have given that answer to anyone, I probably just didn't feel like talking, don't take it personally.
I know, I have felt inherent qualities inside of me which only can be brought out through powerful struggle. I consider myself a very loving person, but only sometimes. I know it is there all the time, but not at a surface level. I'm hoping to know more about this ability, this characteristic or quality. School has become to habitual for me. Ever since the 2nd grade I knew I would be going to college, it seemed like it would never get here, but now I am here I realize how fast life moves. Life is sorta like a toilet paper roll, the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes. But now that I am here (college) I want something more. Maybe it is selfish, maybe I am not being grateful for my life up to now and how I am actually in that 1% which is gifted with the present of college. But I feel that this trip will help me realize my Personal Legend. I asked a friend of mine in a recent email, to what extent she thought The Alchemist was too self-centered. I am still awaiting a reply, but I feel that I have answere my own question. Self discovery is self-indulging for a good reason. I am looking to find more about myself, I am creating a cultivating myself in order to find my Personal Legend, but when I get there I will know it, I will want to share it with the world, and I will. That will be the joy of all this self-centered discovery. I will someday find that peace within myself and be able to share it with the world, weather it is ready or not! I will be a person of character, of story, of legend. I am hoping this trip helps me get there. It will to some extent.
Ever since I was four, every September at this time, I was in the classroom, why don't put a break on that habitual action? I don't give school enough credit, I don't appreciate it enough, I want something to fight for, a reason to be invested in school. I am hoping that this trip will help me find a reason to fight, I know it will to some extent.
I am looking for something more organic out of life, I am finding it right now in this hot muggy Bangkok internet studio. Althouhgh I am still in some awe of what is going on around me, I am searching, looking for meaning in my life. Maybe this means nothing to some of you readers, but it means the world to me right now. I am shitting my pants nervous for India, but in a great way, I know it will make me, me, a more full me. You know that feeling of fullness after you eat a whole meal? Well that will hopefully be me after this trip, full on, well yes curry and naan, but more life than ever before! I am looking for life in all I will touch.
I am going to have to end this post. I apologize if it was too much experience and not enough thought. I have now figured out how to make a new post and hopefully will be able to post more often. For now I need to go get ready for the next outing, more Muay Thai Boxing!!! Oh and I do feel another bathroom visit brewing after all the "Spicy Thai" and street vendor egg rolls. Although no Hyatt, only regular toilet's with a mystery hose. But that hose is seemingly more obvious with the lack of toilet paper.
With much love from Bangkok,
Namaste.
My flight left on last Wednesday afternoon. The long 12 hour flight was easily passed with endless amounts of movies, free unlimited sake, and nervous excitment. I watched the new kid's movie "Kung-Fu Panda" which is great, I recommend everyone check it out when they have the chance, but one line which resonated with me and which I am trying to remember through all of my internal struggles as I adjust to all new, is: "The past is history, the future a mystery, and the present is a gift, that is why it is called the present." In all of the small struggles so far I have asked myself multiple questions, all steaming back to the ultimate, What am I doing here? I thought that I would be guided more by cosmic energies and endless beauty. But what I have been running into most is scams and people trying to hustle me.
Scams:
The first two and half days were spent with one of the two other SU students, Traci. We stayed at a very trendy posh hostel with free internet, cool american pop music, and even sliding doors! Traci and I tried numerous time venturing out into the streets of Bangkok. We spent time at Chinatown, the infamous Khao San Road, and night markets. They all had their excitment but still for two travelers who are 14 hours behind the regular time, is simply was too much.
The best way to get around Bangkok is the open aired tuk-tuks! Basically a three wheeled taxi. Traci and I figured that it would be cheapest and the most fun, so we found ourselves in a tuk-tuk as we left the hostel for the first time. Of course we hadn't considered the wise words of lonely planet's travel book before hitting the road, which turned out to be a humorous adventure. The tuk tuk drivers hustle you into the back of their motorized tricycles, before you even have a chance to get a price quote or say no, you are in the crazy streets of Bangkok. The first ride we took as innocent, the driver seemed to care about us, he asked us questions about where we were from etc, we felt welcomed, he even asked how long we had been in the country. Now, I usually am a pretty "guard-up" sorta person, but when someone is being nice to be I am such a sucker. "Oh only 1 day, this is our first day." Never ever ever ever tell a tuk tuk driver that short amount of time. Tell them 1 week a month maybe even a year if you don't want to fall into the commission scam.
The tuk tuk driver, I'm sure smiled on the inside and laughed, silly americans! He turned around to us and pointed at a small lamanated card he had wrote, "FREE GASSOLINE." Yes 2 "s's." He told us that if made a stop for him, and only "look no buy, only look" then we would get a discount on our ride. We were tired and he was nice so "yes" was our decision.
We got to a tailor shop. There were about 12 Indian salesmen ready to pounch on the newcomers. One in particular came up to us and pressed us for what we were buying. Being ingorant as I can be, I thought this "free gassoline deal" was special for us, therefore I thought we had to be legit and play along hardcore. So Traci and I did. We pretended to know what we were looking for, I even said I knew what good fabric looked like. I had a vague idea because after spending 6 months rug-shopping with mom back home I had a rough idea. "It depends on how many threads stick out the bottom." His reaction really showed me that I had no idea what the hell I was talking about. The salesman asked where we were from, "California USA," maybe is was my dark skin, he didn't believe me, "No really?" I didn't know if anyone would have heard of Guatemala, so I said, "Mexico," reluctantly (I am proud to be Guatemalan, don't worry reader, or dad!). He said. "oh, I have customer from Mexico," excitedly, he brought out a huge binder full of all his sales, he opened to a page which credited he had sold a Mexican business man 9 whole suits! I smiled and said, "Nice." Traci and I left laughing.
The tuk tuk driver waited for us happily. We got in and he turned to us and said, "Okay, one more stop and I give you free ride wherever you want!" Traci and I looked at eachother, "Whatever, ya, but you promise, free?" Offended he put a look of disgust on his face as to say you don't believe me while grabbing his bicep and said, "I good man." All men have goodness, but not all are honest, oh well, sure we took the free ride.
We stopped at a gem shop down an alley way which didn't even have it's lights on until we got in. As we walked around, the chinese salesman asked where we were from, "California USA." Of course the dark skin threw him off so this time I said, "Guatemala." "Oh I have friends in Guatemala, I give you good price, I give you Guatemalan discount!" I laughed and continued to walk around the store and just reminded myself that everyone needs to make a living. Traci and I left after a few minutes. Chinatown bound we were finally on the road, free!!!!
We spent the next few hours in markets and tuk-tuks again being part of the commission scam, it really isn't a scam, more like you just have to feel dirty for a few minutes, although you don't know why. You feel like someone is supposed to rob you, so grabbing your wallet and money belt you wait, but no one does. The tuk tuk driver gets free gas and we get a free ride, it's all good.
After some researching and travel agency-ing, we found us some tickets to Calcutta! We probably paid a little too much but it was such a relief to have bought our tickets. Tomorrow, thursday for us at 1230 we will be flying to Calcutta India where the second part of the adventure really starts.
Sex Industries:
After 2 days Traci and I decided had too much of the chaos and moved ourselves to a small beachfront town, Hua-Hin. It was simple and quite, just what we wanted. The beach's sands were white. the water was very blue, and the Singha very cold. This would be perfect for adjusting to. The only downside was the "White-man." Yes, white males everywhere. It was a very in-yo-face experience to see this industry up front. Nonetheless we indulged in the sandy beaches and attempted to avoid "the industry" once again, everyone has to make a living. We also were able to see our first Muay Thai Boxing match. SO intense, so intense, so intense. I just don't find it fair when a 10 year old 110 pound boy fights a 19 year old 140 pound man. But hey, it was entertaining.
Whenever Traci and I went to eat, we would seek the most authentic looking restaurants. Of course these places, being authentic, offered "spicy thai." This statement came with small and later a laugh as they watch the americans sweat in desperation from all the "spicy thai." After one of the meals, I was really feeling the "Spicy Thai" so I went to the Hyatt. Yes there was a Hyatt and it was very very very nice, which is why I choose it as my "rest" room. I happened to be going into the "rest"room at the same time another gentleman was entering. We went into our respective stalls made similar noises (I know gross but I'm being honest). This was a huge consolation; his stomach is as weak as mine! I finished and proceeded to wash my hands. This gentelman had already begun his hand washing and we made eye contact in the mirror. The only thing I could really do is smile, pat my belly, and ask "Spicy Thai?" He laughed and said, "Spicy Thai!" Thanks Hyatt and at the same time, I'm sorry.
Alleyways:
Traci and I bussed back into BK to find the final leg of "the tri-pod." A hostel was named as the meeting point, but upon arrival Katie had left us a note that she would be back later. Of course she would, being adventurous as she is, she was out and about. Traci and spent the following few hours walking up and down a main road in search of Miss Katie. She was no where to be found.
Empty handed Traci and I decided to head back to the hostel. We turned a corner into an alley way which led to our hostel. In this one and only vacant alley way, the only alley way in all of Bangkok that does not have anyone sleeping, selling or sitting we found Kaite! Arms wide open shocked looks on our faces we ran to embrace! It feels so real now.
Of The Alechemist as well!!!
Let's go back to last wednesday at SFO. Traci and I were killing time at a small convenience stand looking at all the magazines which are supposed to entertain us Americans. Nothing appealed to my interest so I turned around and there on top of small candy stand was a consolation! I knew it would be a consolation before the thought of having to spend 13.50 for it occured to me! THE ALCHEMIST BY PAULO COELHO! I had read it years past, but it made no sense really to me then. Why would anyone want to find their Personal Legend? Omen's don't really have to do with life, they are more just things to make one instantaneously happy, right? I read the book in a few hours, as I got to the end tried to read slower as I knew it was coming to an end. I didn't want it to end. The wisdom of Coelho's words resonated with me so much a felt as though I was Santiago. If you have not read the beautful novel, go get a copy on a amazon for $1.98 used. It is such a soul opener. It made me question a lot of motives I have for my trip, it put much of the trip into persepctive and makes me question the possibility of leading that type of "romanticized life." (Only romanticized beacuse our society to an extent condemns it).
So why am I on this trip?
The easiest thing to say would be: To broaden my horizons. Well that would also be bullshit. Not that it isn't true, but that is such a lame way of summarizing what I am about to say. I apologize if I have given that answer to anyone, I probably just didn't feel like talking, don't take it personally.
I know, I have felt inherent qualities inside of me which only can be brought out through powerful struggle. I consider myself a very loving person, but only sometimes. I know it is there all the time, but not at a surface level. I'm hoping to know more about this ability, this characteristic or quality. School has become to habitual for me. Ever since the 2nd grade I knew I would be going to college, it seemed like it would never get here, but now I am here I realize how fast life moves. Life is sorta like a toilet paper roll, the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes. But now that I am here (college) I want something more. Maybe it is selfish, maybe I am not being grateful for my life up to now and how I am actually in that 1% which is gifted with the present of college. But I feel that this trip will help me realize my Personal Legend. I asked a friend of mine in a recent email, to what extent she thought The Alchemist was too self-centered. I am still awaiting a reply, but I feel that I have answere my own question. Self discovery is self-indulging for a good reason. I am looking to find more about myself, I am creating a cultivating myself in order to find my Personal Legend, but when I get there I will know it, I will want to share it with the world, and I will. That will be the joy of all this self-centered discovery. I will someday find that peace within myself and be able to share it with the world, weather it is ready or not! I will be a person of character, of story, of legend. I am hoping this trip helps me get there. It will to some extent.
Ever since I was four, every September at this time, I was in the classroom, why don't put a break on that habitual action? I don't give school enough credit, I don't appreciate it enough, I want something to fight for, a reason to be invested in school. I am hoping that this trip will help me find a reason to fight, I know it will to some extent.
I am looking for something more organic out of life, I am finding it right now in this hot muggy Bangkok internet studio. Althouhgh I am still in some awe of what is going on around me, I am searching, looking for meaning in my life. Maybe this means nothing to some of you readers, but it means the world to me right now. I am shitting my pants nervous for India, but in a great way, I know it will make me, me, a more full me. You know that feeling of fullness after you eat a whole meal? Well that will hopefully be me after this trip, full on, well yes curry and naan, but more life than ever before! I am looking for life in all I will touch.
I am going to have to end this post. I apologize if it was too much experience and not enough thought. I have now figured out how to make a new post and hopefully will be able to post more often. For now I need to go get ready for the next outing, more Muay Thai Boxing!!! Oh and I do feel another bathroom visit brewing after all the "Spicy Thai" and street vendor egg rolls. Although no Hyatt, only regular toilet's with a mystery hose. But that hose is seemingly more obvious with the lack of toilet paper.
With much love from Bangkok,
Namaste.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Arranging my life before 1:20 pm TOMORROW!
Thinking I can arrange my life before it completely changes is somewhat ironic to me. I just modified my voicemail greeting to an appropriate extended absence. I soon will be going to get my traveler's checks. I dropped off old clothes at The Goodwill and am staring at seemingly large bottle of malaria pills, which apparently ALL have to be consumed over my travels.. As the hours pass, India becomes more and more legit. I'm excited and have not been nervous, yet. I am awaiting the moment the JAL Flight 1 to Narita connecting to Bangkok Thailand wheel's release any pervious apprehensive ideas of turning back. That is not to say any or all emotions of apprehension will no longer be with me, they for sure will be intensified. This is where my palms may start to sweat for the next 3 months, metaphorically speaking, and I will begin laugh with my "no turning back" decision. At the same time their will be a large smile full gratification.
I am going to India tomorrow. Well, actually, first I will fly to Thailand with a fellow SU student, Traci, and we will veg out on the beaches as we adjust ourselves to our silly important life changing commitment. Katie, another SU student, the final addition to the tri-pod, will meet us sometime on Monday and the official ball will begin to roll on it's way to Calcutta India.
I have to get back to disposing my current life, so cannot write much more...but...
Fr. Cobb had us do some reflection on sunset horizons while on the Oregon coast. This was my first impression, in thought form. They (horizons) are nothing more than a line which represent "the continuum" my continuum. I see that established line in the distance when I get there it will be gone, in so far as I have another one to look for. This is the momentum (Little Sis thank you for the 2 great key words, I think you know what I am talking about) of my life right now, until I find my sunset to stop and live with. Look for your next horizon, follow your heart to the horizon of your sunset which perpetuates your life.
I know, I am laughing too because this is so "deep" and "emo" (you know who you are and what I mean when I refer to "emo"). Maybe it's the wonderful production of Anjunabeats (which actually is inspired from the beaches of Anjuna, India) that makes me write silly things. But I won't stop , I will do my best to share my experiences with whomever decides to read this. But in saying that, know that my conceptualization of whatever experience I will have across the waters, on the other side of the Pacific and Indian oceans will not be articulated well. Not because I try to be a sophisticated writer and sound cool, or because I am just a inarticulate writer, but because as written by Rainer Maria Rilke in Letters to a Young Poet:
"One cannot go into the nature of my versus (my experiences); for all critical intention is too far from us (you the reader). With nothing can one approach a work of art so little as with critical words: they always come down to more or less happy misunderstandings. Things are not all so comprehensible and expressible as one would mostly have us believe; most events are inexpressible, taking place in a realm which no word has ever entered, and more inexpressible than all else are works of art, mysterious existences, the life of which, while ours passes away, endures!"
Exactly! So fellow readers, bare with me, enjoy my experiences through my words. Maybe our conversation over some chai when I come back will be more indicative of my time.
As you can tell I really like writing on this blog space, but I really need to finish closing this chapter of my life in California for now. Don't worry, my reasons for going and all other explanations will come from a internet cafe in Thailand.
I am intoxicated with thrilled emotions!
Peace be with you,
Namaste
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